Roller Coaster

I know that I had lightheartedly mentioned that this process would be a roller coaster.  I said that not knowing what would lie ahead.  When we first started this process we did it thinking that we would use an agency and that this would take up to  two to three years.  After doing research I found a website about a women that helps with independent adoptions from Congo and the process is much faster.  Last night after I laid in bed I received a text from her telling me that the US has made independent adoption illegal.  Of course my heart sunk.  She also said that we need to make a match and get the process started in the next two months.  I had no idea what she meant, but was clearly focused on the fact of illegal independenct adoptions.  I was almost sick.  She preceded to say that this will take effect in 2014 in order to standardize the process.  After a few more texts I realized  she was telling me that we need to get this process moving quickly in order to ensure we get her home before January.  That has always been our plan, but I feel even more pressure and so many questions enter my mind.  Some of which I know are Satan....What if we can't get it done before January due to Congo embassy,  finances, time? Is this God saying you are pushing too hard it just needs to fall in place?  Too many to mention, but you get the point where my heart is today.  I have been in tears for most of the morning and I keep telling myself God has this, you have to believe that God's will, will prevail.  Why is it even though I know this I still feel this pit of fear?  This little girl that I have only dreamed about is already a part of our family and the emotion is raw.  I know that this is all part of the spiritual growth that I asked  for.  As John said, God's divine plan is already written.  Please pray that I can push the fear Satan is instilling and feel God's love and peace. 

Why Congo?

The question that I hear often is why Congo?  I had always thought Ethopia or Haiti or even South America, but there are so many countries that have closed their adoption programs to the United States or they take three years.  I have always wanted to adopt, but until recently my heart has turned to wanting to adopt from a country that has a great need.  As I have stated Congo is in very bad shape and these children are not only dying from disease, but they do not have electricity or water in the orphanage.  I cannot imagine taking care of one child without water or electricity, let alone caring for 20 to 25 children in that environment.  These people that care for these children can only concern themselves with the survival of these children.  So, when I began to process adoption and it became a real consideration I never considered anywhere expect a third world country.   Ethopia would take up to three years and very difficult to get a child under the age of 5.  So, after much reseach I found Congo which I had never even heard of and then once i continued to learn more my heart could not go anywhere else.  And no coincidence at 3am one morning researching I found a lady that helps with private adoption who has a heart for these children in Congo.  She has adopted two children from there herself and her mission is to continue to bring them home.   The next morning I called her and spoke to her for two hours and confirmed my feeling of adopting from Congo. 
As for our current status.  I finished the questionaire tonight,ordered certified copies of birth and marriage certificates, FBI fingerprint clearance done,  and will be starting the process of getting her room ready for the homestudy meeting that we will be scheduled in the next few weeks.  This is quite the process, but have enjoyed checking things off my list and knowing that every step in one step closer to her home.  The prize is priceless!!!  John and I spent a couple hours last Friday at a local restauraunt filling out the couple portion of the questionaire and enjoyed remembering what attracted us to each other, what qualitites we want and are instilling in our children, and discussing all the things that got us to the point of wanting to bring another child in our sweet family.  It was a very special and unforgettable afternoon. 
I also want to thank you for all of your kind words.  It really takes a villiage for all of this to come together, and I am so thankful for those that are so supportive.  Your love and prayers are appreciated(even your likes on facebook make me smile.)  Please continue to pray for our little girl and that God wraps his arms of protection around her.  I often laugh that this process mimics pregnancy.  I do not get good rest and have not slept sound since we started this process, but for a different kind of discomfort.  I find myself worrying about her and worrying about her safety.  I have to just pray.  Sometimes the worry becomes physical.  My heart starts racing, very weird.    Once again I believe that it is all part of the spiritual growth in the process.  I am not in control and I do not have the answers.   I have to trust.